"visuals & message, in competition with each other"
reoccurring concerns: does seeing, understanding, or appreciating something on a surface level immediately inhibit the will to dig deeper?
as live performance is fleeting and ephemeral, so is the physical body, which has settled me upon this idea of "embracing failure" “compromising with failure”. i was originally referring to the authenticity & execution of my performance, but now i know it was incredibly naive of me to focus on that.
being abruptly reminded that self-representation is only one kind of representation.
first round at my first NY jam. i’m at 2:09. also, quarter & semifinals. shoutout to Just Serious, my lottery battle partner for the day.
passion & experience can get me through the first round. after that, situated patterns begin to emerge. in the attempt to conceal habitual tendencies, the will to be spontaneous loses out to cold, calculated certainty — and it’s difficult to be convincingly certain when so much is out of your control. it makes sense, given my hiatus in training & battling. improvisation (spontaneous problem solving?) as an honest representation of the current self.
a question i’ve often been asked is, "which do you like more, breaking/battling or concert dance/performance?" the thing is, i can’t exactly prioritize my feelings of one over the other because they serve different purposes, personally and socially/historically. (though i inevitably do prioritize one over the other based on sustainability of a career & my body.) does the authentic self exist in deliberation choreography or spontaneity improvisation? what can you represent, choreographically, and then improvisationally?